Best Tips for Making the First Move
Flirting Often Requires the Courage to Break the Ice
Dec 11, 2008
Making introductions and starting a conversation is never easy, but it can get less nerve wracking with practice. Most people are flattered by an interesting person’s approach. People who realize this and see themselves as interesting are well on their way. Here are a few tips to help them take the plunge and get things started.
Flirting with Body Language and Non-Verbal Cues
When making the first move, people can start slowly. A good way to test the water before jumping in is with a bit of subtle body language.
Brief eye contact, smiling, tilting the head, touching the hair or face, and many other gestures lets people know they’re on the radar. The key is to only do what feels natural.
Some flirting looks great in the movies, but isn’t right for everyone. Ideally, a person’s style of flirting will match his or her personality. That way, people are likely to attract someone who suits them. After all, flirting is just the beginning of what might turn out to be a long relationship. The best advice anyone can get in the area of flirting is, “Be yourself.”
Starting a Conversation
If body language, and non-verbal cues, have triggered a positive response, the next step is starting a conversation. Despite the hundreds of brilliant come-ons everyone can quote, the best way to start off on the right foot is usually a casual, “Hey, how are you?”
Starting off with hello is a good idea for at least two reasons. First, it’s a natural introduction and one that everyone knows how to respond to. The last thing someone who’s flirting wants to do is make the other person feel uncomfortable from the start. And second, starting off in a casual way works out well for the person doing the flirting too. So far, they’re still free to gauge the response they receive and back out gracefully if need be.
When Flirting, How to Go From Hello?
Congratulations to anyone who’s made it that far in breaking the ice and meeting someone new. Unfortunately, the hardest part is coming up.
Usually when someone starts a conversation with another person, there was a reason for it. So, to avoid any awkward moments of silence, people might want to have an idea of where they’re going with the conversation after hello.
A good plan is to find something unique about the person being approached and kick off the conversation with that. Are they walking a dog? Are they wearing a T-shirt that gives a clue to where they went to school, a sports team they like, or a band they’re into?
The whole point is starting the conversation by giving them an opportunity to talk about something they enjoy – a hobby or interest that might lead to a connection. That’s why the old, “You know, you look so familiar, but I can’t quite figure out where I’ve seen you before,” is never a dynamite choice for a conversation lead. The line is trying to establish a connection, but places the burden on the other person and usually just turns out feeling awkward and contrived.
For more advice, readers might want to check out tips on how to flirt without looking like a flirt, and how to keep a conversation spontaneous and natural.
